Friday, February 29, 2008

Words for the dog.

Listen Henry, I know you think you got the raw end of the deal. I know it used to be me, and hubby, and two little pugs. Our very own nuclear pug family, and you were happy, and lazy, and free to snort around in the house wherever you wanted. The thing is, unlike the damn neighborhood cat that you literally spend hours barking at outside, I can't just not feed the boys and hope they go away.

I acknowledge the slow adjustment period. I understand some changes are hard to grasp.

Some high lites...

'No, you can't eat it. Yes, I know the cookie fell on the ground, but you can't eat it. Yes, I see that the baby is clearly extending the cookie to you as gesture of goodwill, but, no, you can't eat it. Just ignore the cookie Henry. IGNORE IT!"

"Um, yeah, so I know the no poop or pee in the house rule has actually always been in effect, but all leniency on this rule is hereby withdrawn. If I have to wash "dog poop playdoh" off the toddler's hands one more time, I am going to throw up."

"Henry, no growling! Yes, I see the baby is trying to take away your toy. Technically, it's not even your toy anyways. Good point, I can see how all 80 billion stuffed animals we have strewn across the house can confuse things, but remember, your's are the smelly bears you tore the eyes out of. Yes, I hear that he was also "growling" back at you as well, but the fact is, it was more like a low pitched gurgle, you have more teeth."

"If you want to get nitpicky about it, then yeah, I guess you could say the boys pee and poop in the house, but they do so, the majority of the time, in a diaper. Something you refuse to wear. Remember, I tried to put you in one to prove a point a while back, and you freaked out and spent the next two days barking at your tail. It was creepy. Let's not go there again."

"What? Untrue, I most certainly fed you last night. I always feed you right after I feed the boys. I collapsed on the couch from sheer exhaustion, you say? Wow, that is very much a possibility. My bad. I'm sorry."

"It's not that I don't think you would be a great father. It's more like, I want to curb your peeing on things in the house, and hopefully settle you down a bit before the baby comes. Like I said, you can still totally hump things. Just remember, try and do it completely out of my line of vision, and not any of my things, only your father's crap. I mean, we can stand here and debate this all day, fact is, you are getting fixed today, so keep giving me the stink eye all you want, I'm getting the leash."

Wow. What a crazy couple of years, eh? I know we have our disagreements. And, just when I think all I want to do is open the front door and look the other way, you go and surprise me.


Awww...good Dog.

6 comments:

Emily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lambrina said...

I teared up too!

Brittany said...

You girls and your silly emotions:)

Heather said...

That's so cute! I love the photo at the end, too. :)

Tempered Woman said...

oh that pic is too cute! This post was so great. Just this morning I was yelling at my husband about HIS children refusing to go outside cause it was raining (gawdforbid they get their pawsies wet). And he duly noted they are always HIS children when I want to strangle them but MY babies when they are all sweet and lovin.
I hope that photo finds the perfect frame!

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