Monday, March 10, 2008

What boys do.

Early this morning, I was busy in the kitchen putting some fresh flowers in a vase, doing the dishes, and keeping an eye on the breakfast quiche I had in the oven...ok...actually, I was on my tiptoes rummaging around in the cupboard for any renegade girl scout cookies that may have fallen out of the pack, and talking the pug into eating the last of the Kashi cereal I accidentally spilled on the ground. But really, does it matter what I was doing? Let's just call it "important stuff."

So anyways, I was in the kitchen doing important stuff, while the little monsters were in the living room, supposedly eating their banana pancakes and watching Winnie the Pooh. When I went out to check on them, little monster was doing just that. Albeit, sticky and all over the table and couch, but the attempt was there. Toddler, on the other hand, was nowhere in sight. Which is always kinda scary.

I looked for about 5 minutes, until I saw toddler-sized monster toes sticking out from underneath the curtain, and heard a great big grunt coming from behind it.

New pre- obsessive compulsive, quirky behavior alert!

As of today, toddler will only poop...in his diaper mind you, we aren't savages...while hiding behind a curtain or in the coat closet.

"Hubby, have you noticed toddler has been only pooping behind the curtain lately?"

"The iron curtain?"

"What?!"

"The iron curtain, like in Europe."

"Would it make sense if I came in here to tell you our son refuses to poop anywhere but in a 1940's communist country?"

"Um no. No it would not. Behind the curtain you say, that's disgusting. Did you clean it up?"

"Actually, I did not mean physically pooping on the floor behind the curtain?"

"Ah, well that makes sense. What is that sound."

"It's your son. He is pooping in the closet out in the hall."

"Men need privacy. Did he take a book in there with him?"

"And we're done here."

6 comments:

Judy @ No Fear Entertaining said...

Your life makes me laugh...Mine are older than yours so I have passed all of that. Yeah right! Only just!

Jen said...

I have to come spend some time at your house!

Laura said...

I've stalked you from Lambrina's blog. All I can say is Amen Sista! I read your post and say, yep, I know exactly what she means.
Sorry to stalk, but I really enjoy your writing!

Heather said...

My husband only became potty trained when he learned he could read a book while pooping (says his mom).

Brittany said...

Judy...my life makes me laugh too:) it keeps me from crying!

Jen...you are welcome to come visit, just bring knee pads, rubber gloves, band aids, old clothes, a copy of your insurance card, and just be safe, make sure you appoint a power of attonry.

Laura! I LOVE STALKERS! Make yourself at home girl!

Heather...if you could have your husband just make a list of crazy shit to expect with little boys, that would be SO HELPFUL! Thanks.

Lisa Marie said...

Britt I def. think you need your own reality show!!!