Monday, March 3, 2008

The ins and the outs.

"OMG, does this look like a line to you?"

It's almost spring time folks! And that means after a long winter of Ohioans doing what we do best, snowmobiling, beer drinking (actually, this is more a year round sport), hunting and baby making, we are ready to enter into a new season with freezers full of game and babies in our bellies.

First off, mom and dad, relax. I'm not pregnant again...that I know of.

But, some dear friends of mine are officially "in a family way," and I couldn't be more excited. I love answering all their questions, and reminiscing about the wonders of pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood.

But, as I look at them, so young and innocent, totally oblivious to what their bodies have in store for them, I get a twinge of jealousy. I want to nap when I want to, to be able to hold liquid in my bladder for more than two seconds (heck, while I am wishing aloud, how about being able to sneeze or laugh hard with out peeing myself), to not have bags under my eyes that rival the giganto Hermes' bag Katie Holmes is toting these days, to use the bathroom with the door closed and not have to listen for screams in the next room, shoot, to not have to hide my tampons because they are easily the funnest toddler toy EVER, and I would like to sit and type a blog entry from start to finish without getting up to refill bottles, change poopy diapers, or break up a toddler grade fist fight.

I mean, I'll never get to flash my boobs for beads at Mardi Gras. Mom's can't flash mom boobs. They hang too low, and your nipples become the size of dinner plates. For real. And no one likes that. So, this means MTV's Spring Break '08 is out, too. As are any future wet t shirt contests, or mechanical bull riding (again, I blame the loss of bladder control).

So what makes it worth all the blood, sweat, tears, loss of privacy, huge nipples and, well, pee leaking?

Pretty much everything they do.

Even when they look at me, all disheveled from screaming and wrestling with each other, with snot and/or drool running down their crying faces, I see myself in them, and it melts my insides. Little pieces of me run around my house, learning new amazing things every second, wanting nothing more than to just hang out with me.

I mean, how cool is that?

And, really, now that I take a closer look, maybe my nipples aren't quite as freakishly big as I thought.

Hahahahahaha.

Crap.

Gotta run to the bathroom.

2 comments:

Judy @ No Fear Entertaining said...

You write about my life in the most uncanny ways!

JennDZ - The Leftover Queen said...

LOL! You are too funny Brittany! (as always)