It's all in the delivery, folks.

If I am nothing else, I am the Queen of Irreverence and Obscure Pop Culture References. Oh yeah, I am a good time, usually a huge hit with the over forty crowd. But, as with the majority of my age demographic, my wit is equally lost on small children.

I made toddler a sippy today, and when he reached for it, I literally said "I'll give it to you, for ONE MILLION DOLLARS!" And then I put my pinky to my mouth.

That should have been funny.

But, instead of laughing, toddler gasped in horror and ran to hubby. In hindsight, maybe next time I try it, I will omit the evil muahahahahaha that immediately followed.

Hubby and sons also failed to see the hilarity when I reminded him I could take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, as I questioned him about the warranty on the new tv.

Or, the time I loudly told my father in law, "No, I will not make out with you." But...I may have been out of line on that one. We were at his mother's funeral lunch, there was a lull in conversation, and it just slipped out. I agree, though, totally inappropriate.

And, poor hubby, begging me every time we knock on someone's door, "Please Brittany, do not do the Landsharks bit." Whatever hubby! I will have you know, that sketch killed on Saturday Night Live in the 70s. Loser.

Some days, it literally takes every ounce of strength I have not to answer the phone saying "Balls and Weiners."

**silence**

Is this thing on? What...no one saw I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry? This is comedy gold, people!

Well you should go rent it. Now. It was amazing, best movie of the year.

Sensing my sarcasm? Well, I hope so, 'cause I am laying it on pretty thick.

Brittany, out.