Wednesday, March 19, 2008

It's all in the delivery, folks.

If I am nothing else, I am the Queen of Irreverence and Obscure Pop Culture References. Oh yeah, I am a good time, usually a huge hit with the over forty crowd. But, as with the majority of my age demographic, my wit is equally lost on small children.

I made toddler a sippy today, and when he reached for it, I literally said "I'll give it to you, for ONE MILLION DOLLARS!" And then I put my pinky to my mouth.

That should have been funny.

But, instead of laughing, toddler gasped in horror and ran to hubby. In hindsight, maybe next time I try it, I will omit the evil muahahahahaha that immediately followed.

Hubby and sons also failed to see the hilarity when I reminded him I could take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, as I questioned him about the warranty on the new tv.

Or, the time I loudly told my father in law, "No, I will not make out with you." But...I may have been out of line on that one. We were at his mother's funeral lunch, there was a lull in conversation, and it just slipped out. I agree, though, totally inappropriate.

And, poor hubby, begging me every time we knock on someone's door, "Please Brittany, do not do the Landsharks bit." Whatever hubby! I will have you know, that sketch killed on Saturday Night Live in the 70s. Loser.

Some days, it literally takes every ounce of strength I have not to answer the phone saying "Balls and Weiners."

**silence**

Is this thing on? What...no one saw I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry? This is comedy gold, people!

Well you should go rent it. Now. It was amazing, best movie of the year.

Sensing my sarcasm? Well, I hope so, 'cause I am laying it on pretty thick.

Brittany, out.

3 comments:

lambrina said...

next thing your gonna tell me is you have watched Joe Dirt 30 times. F that movie

(LOVE the landshark reference)

jello said...

you are funny! i can't believe i am just discovering you! funny stuff...i will be back!

Pam said...

Okay, the comment at the funeral lunch was probably over the top. But really the landshark bit, never ever gets old!