Tuesday, May 20, 2008

How about a big bowl of disgusting?

There are a few traits that my husband has retained from his life, prior to me, a long 13 years ago.

Some are really cute, like the way he says the word nachos like nay-chos, or when he insists on only drinking milk out of those teeny little dixe cups.

Some are annoying, like the way he blows his nose into his hands in the shower, or when he refuses to engage in a verbal fight with me, no matter how hard I antagonize him.

And some are down right disgusting, which says alot, because I am not easily grossed out. I have seen almost every substance explode out of a baby, and I could literally spend hours popping zits on someone's back.

Basically, it takes a lot to shock me...and yet, he does.

Unfortunately, my husband was under the weather today. Stomach cramps. Dizziness. The whole nine yards. He spent the day laid up on the couch with sweats and chills, and sometime during the Made marathon on MTV, things took a turn for the worst.

Hub: Brittany!
Me: What's up babe, do you need more ginger ale?
Hub: No, I think *wincing* I think I may have to throw up.
Me: Ok, do you need help getting up to the bathroom?
Hub: Won't make it, please bring me a bowl.
Me: A bowl? Um, how about the garbage can?
Hub: No, a glass bowl.
Me: What!? No, I am bringing you a garbage bag, hold on.
Hub: No. I will throw up on the floor before I throw up in a stupid bag. I need a bowl, like we eat popcorn in.
Me: What the hell is wrong with you? That is disgusting. I am not washing your vomit out of a glass bowl.
Hub: My mom let me throw up in bowls.
**deafening silence**
Hub: Ok fine, maybe I can try and do it in a ziploc bag.
Me: Oh yum.

Lord if I understand that man's need to only vomit in clear containers.


Natalie said...

that is the most disgusting thing! we have a green plastic sand pail that we keep on our balcony for just that reason. it wasn't purchased to be a throw-up bucket, but on a trip back from the beach once it became one. anytime someone is sick it goes to bed with them. it also accompanies kids to the doctor's office and anywhere we might have to go in the car when they are feeling under the weather. i know we look cute carrying it around!

Brittany said...

Did they show the one about the chubby girl who wanted to be a cheerleader? That one is my favorite. Her coach was hilarious. OOh! What about the vapid primadonna who wanted to be a skater chick?
I love Made.

...I also love to pop zits on backs. I think it's a wife thing.

I am not going to comment on ralphing into a glass bowl. There is nothing more to say.

Judy @ No Fear Entertaining said...

I thought I was pretty tough after seeing just about everything but that didn't make me feel very well!

Emily said...

That's the weirdest and grossest thing I have ever heard.

Brittany said...

Natalie...What happened to good old toilet puking? When did praying to the porcelin gods go out of style? That was pretty much a class i took on weekends in college:)

Brittany...OMG I love the chubby cheerleader, the hairy male model wanna be...oh, and I loved the spray tan diva wanting to be a rugby player. Ugh...her friends just DON'T understand her.

Judy...isn't it funny how life keeps throwing yuck at you.

Emily...Yes well, he had a unique childhood.