Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I need a cold steak and some advil

Things that hurt when you are hit across the face with them...

metal measuring cups
a whisk
a rolling pin
a garlic press
(Can you tell I didn't child proof my gadget drawer in the kitchen???)
a box of swiffer wet jet pads
a tape dispenser
the mouse as it is swung around by the cord
the stick I used to flick the dead bird over the fence
my own hand (thanks for teaching them the whole "stop hitting yourself" shtick hun, it's hoo-larious)
a sock full of quarters

Ok, the last one didn't really happen. But, I wouldn't put it past them.

It seems we are going through a bit of a hitting phase. It's splendid.

We go through lots of phases around here. Some are fun, like last week when the boys would only eat things if I told them it was really a powdered donut in disguise (dum, dum, DUMMM). Some not so fun, like when they both would collectively scream the word poop while we were in public, and then cock their heads back and laugh wildly like uncontrollable tourette inflicted midgets. Actually...that was fun too, more for me, not so much for hubby. He embarrasses easily, and is worried about his reputation.

Listen babe, I haven't done dishes or laundry in like...days...so two kids screaming poop is the last thing you should be worried about. Now, go fish some dirty socks out of the hamper and leave me alone with my blog.

So, yeah, we're slap happy here in the barefoot household. I feel like David Guest after Liza had a few too many, and I have the black eyes to prove it. Always looking over our shoulders, dodging heavy objects, listening for the tell tale little footsteps sneaking up behind you. No one is safe.

No one.


Natalie said...

i am so glad we are out of the hitting phase. we are now into the growing nasty things in their extremely dirty rooms phase. especially the girls. for some reason they are much worse! the boys have leggos. the girls have cups, food packages, and torn pieces of toilet paper scattered around their rooms. goggles, rubber gloves, and a clothespin on my nose are requirements for entry into the messes.

Emily said...

If it makes you feel any better, my husband, who's a good 23 years older than either of your kids, just head butted me in the nose. I don't think he did it on purpose...

Brittany said...

Natalie...I hope you are up to date on your tetnus shots!

Emily...You may have to resort to spanking, that is, if the time out step doesn't work.