Friday, June 6, 2008

When girl stuff isn't fun.

On any given day, any number of weird, random things may make me totally happy.Babies, puppy dogs, rainbows, children's laughter.

But, not today.

Today I am grumpy and disgruntled. I feel bloated, disproportioned and fat. My skin is pale, and my boobs aren't as perky.

Today, you see, is bathing suit shopping day.

Everything would have gone much smoother had I done a few (10) shots first, and and remembered to do laundry last night, as all I had by way of underwear was a sad pair of granny panties.

I am not usually one to hog the handicap accessible bathroom stall, even though I would love some extra knee room, but when it comes to trying on bathing suits, I require the biggest damn fitting room available...preferably one with a couch, a shrink and an open bar.

I was a hot, sweaty mess.

I feel my bikini days are over, but I am just not ready to commit to a one piece quite yet. I mean, I want to look mom-ish...but more hot mom-ish...maybe even a touch "hey, I'm only the babysitter, as I am too tastefully sexy to have popped two kids out."

18 suits later, I was spent.

Now, I am all for women's lib. Equality rocks, I am glad we can vote, pantsuits are fun. Heck, I'd burn my bra if I didn't need the support. But, it's times like these, I wish we were still stuck here...


Instead of here.

12 comments:

Deb said...

Ugh. I hate hate hate bathing suit shopping. It's right up there with bra shopping, but worse, because at least you can put a shirt over your bra in public. But your bathing suit is meant for the world to see. =(

Not Just Any Jen said...

Bating suit shopping does suck. At least you are still shopping two pieces! I gave that up a few years ago. Sorry you had a rough day.

Kate said...

HA!!!!! :D Totally agree, girl...back then, those were the days eh?! So fun to meet you via the MBC...thanks for stopping by my place and for your sweet words about my Chloe. :) Have an awesome weekend!!!!

ali said...

I know this is very serious business but I can't help laughing! You are too funny!

Sandy C. said...

Amen. Those older bathing suits had JUST the right amount of coverage....at least for how my body looks now.

Nilz said...

"...make me totally happy....But, not today." ... Sorry but I really get rid of my stresses daily after a sneaky look at your blog! Very refreshing!

Heather said...

Oh, honey what you do is go to a Weight Watchers meeting before you go to the store to try on suits. You gain a little thing I like to call "perspective".

Natalie said...

yeah...i don't wear a two-piece. actually even when i had a cute little body i never wore a two-piece. now i am wishing i had! why? because now the stretch marks on my stomach from popping out the babies prevents that thought from even crossing my mind! i'll never get to wear one...waaaahhhh!

MacNelly Family Adventures said...

I am with you on this one!! Can't stand the "It's time to try on a swim suit" time of year!

I love to swim so by the time I have had that thing on more than 2 or 3 times, I get to the point to where I think "who gives a rip!"

By then I've seen enough people much bigger than me without all the "issues", that I feel pretty good.

By the way, the tankini really does wonders for covering. Then when you want to get some sun, just lay on your back and lift the top to expose your tummy. It will be nice and flat. he he he

Brittany said...

Deb...I KNOW! I also hate bra shopping. They should sell bras and bathing suits in bars made for women only.

Jen...Thanks, I probably should give up the two piece, but my brain won't let me.

Kate...Thanks for stopping by as well!

Ali...I am laughing too, through the tears:)

Sandy...I agree, I am not usually one for modesty, but I think tent shaped bathing suits are underrated.

Nilz...Well you are very welcome!

Heather...Good call! But, it can only be a meeting where I am the thinnest one there.

Natalie...Ok, granted you live in Turkey and I have only seen pictures of you from your fab blog...I say you should TOTALLY be all over the two pieces lady, you are waaaay skinny!

Macnelly...I see we share a similar mindset. I mean, it so hot, that I am desperate, so I'll wear anything to cool off:)

Sarah said...

I'm with you! I especially hate going to the pool with my two stick figure mom-friends who are definitely hot enough to be just the babysitter!

PS, found you on the Mom Blogger's Club

Kristen Andrews said...

ugh hate bsuit shopping and my casper skin doesn't help! note to self apply self tanner next time. love your blog.