Wednesday, July 16, 2008

About last night

So we made up.

A couple times.

You know you are a parent when you don't even care that you are messing around on rubber sheets because you have two toddlers running around who take off their own diapers and pee on everything in sight, so everything worth anything is under high alert rubbery protection.

No, you don't care. You don't care because it is nap time, and the nappers are a fickle breed who wake up at the slightest noise, and you just want some nookie and ohmyfuckinggod if the floorboards in this 100 year old farmhouse don't stop creaking so loudly I will burn it to the ground.

Why didn't I realize that before we bought it? Why didn't I say to myself, "Hmmmm...It's big and cute, but this house is not conducive to nap time, and it is sure to destroy any hope I have of an afternoon delight. Ever. I am gonna take a pass on this one, maybe show us something with rubber floors and concrete walls?"

And then, as an extra cherry on top, he took me out to dinner alone. To an adult themed restaurant (as in fancy, not as in assless chaps and dong shaped utencils). Where the menu consisted of potential allergy inducing items such as seafood and peanuts. Where I only had to focus on getting food into my own mouth safetly, and I didn't have to make a fun fort out of the jelly containers and splenda packets.

We met two adult aged friends there, in a non play date setting, and we ate sushi and drank beer until we could vomit.
S'wonderful. S'marvelous.

We lingered in the parking lot afterward, quoting Spaceballs and eating ice cream from the shop down the way. And, as our childless dinner companions parted ways with us in their red shiny new porche, and us in my mommy-fied SUV, I was quickly reminded of the life I had outside of the sushi resturant. The life where my car is a toybox and catch-all for goldfish crackers and fruit snacks, where Disney movies come on with the turn of the ignition, and you can't run the air without the faint smell of apple juice spilled down the vent.

We raced home to get our babies from grandma and grandpa's...detouring slightly for a quick rubber sheet romp...or two...and then spent the rest of the evening snuggled up on the couch watching The Bee movie and eating late night waffles (and scotch)...and, well, if you don't think that is the greatest night ever, I will fight you.

26 comments:

Gwen said...

It sounds heavenly!!

Whew. I'm glad you don't have to fight me. Though a girl fight could be fun someday!

J.Danger said...

good job!

Get it girl, get it, get it!

ali said...

I'm kind of scared to click on 'afternoon delight'.

Politi Gal said...

The Schwarz WIlling, may all my own passive aggressive boyfriend reprimands end in the delightfully dangerous liaisons of which you creak...er..speak:)

AJ said...

Awwww, I wanna live your life for a day!

Is that Blue Moon in the pic? I love blue moon. I mean really love it. To the point where my drunkenest night ever was a result of too much blue moon. It resulted in stories that I don't even tell my husband:)...but I still drink it. And love it!

The Mom said...

Making up after a fight is so sweet isn't it!

kel said...

I think you just pushed back my baby clock by a couple more years. You listed all the reasons why I'm afraid to make that commitment.

Dejoni said...

Woman,
You have to put a noise machine in those kids room...not to help them sleep better...but to mask the noise of you humping.
Do I have to tell you everything?
You are too funny.
Sometimes I pick a fight just for the make up sex...does that make me a bad girl?

Sandy C. said...

I clicked the "afternoon delight." You crack me up :)

Make-up sex rocks!

p.s. we have an old house too :(

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

Sounds like a GOOD day ;)

Aross' Blog said...

If you can get sushi, beer and romps out of the whole thing, I say stage another tiff next week.

Brittany said...

Gwen...A girl fight would totally be fun, you are on!

Danger...Oh, I got it:)

Ali...Click it, click it!

Politi...BWhahaha, I wish the same for you my dear.

AJ...Yep, it is definitely Blue Moon. It's my favorite too:)

Jen...It certainly is!

Kel...I hope my toybox car didn't scare you!

Dejoni...Do they sell really loud white noise machines, to muffle out potential loud...um...outside noises?

Sandy...Aren't all noisy houses the worst! How do you get "anything done?"

Lisa...it really was, thank you!

Aross...Already in the works, my dear.

Raging Dad said...

Damn, that's another benefit we gave up when we moved across the country from the grandparents...

Jan said...

There, that wasn't so hard, was it? But then, it must have been ;-)

Glad you've kissed and made up, among other things.

Fiesty Charlie said...

Aww, the sweet, yet can be kinky adventures of make up sex... damn near as good as birthday nookie...

Wait, what happens if you FIGHT on your birthday? Are you allowed double kink points?

Jennifer said...

Wow! That does sound like the greatest night ever!! Glad you had so much fun!

And I second the noise machine suggestion--I have one in the baby's room on a "rain" setting and it works really well.

Emily said...

Way to go on the nookie!

Knowing that this is going to be my life in a year or two makes me want to cry.

kel said...

No way. It's just that it made me remember why I'm not ready for kids in the first place.

Michelle said...

White noise all the way! Glad you made up.

Not Just Any Jen said...

Wow! You totally deserved that night! that beer looks wonderful. I could drink it up.

Formercitygirl said...

Just found your blog. Love it!
Aren't creaky floors the worst?

Natalie said...

you are so funny. afternoon delight. hee hee

Brittany said...

Raging Dad...Oh no, you need to be in close proximity for a sex time babysitter.

Jan...HAHAHA! Wood jokes are my favorite!

Charlie...Um, yes, actually, probably triple kink points, just for having the NERVE to fight on your birthday!

Jennifer...I will have to find one around here, I totally missed out on this amazing find!

Emily...Don't cry, it's not bad, just walk softly.

Kel...It does put a strain on the sex...but it forces you to be more creative. Who knew stairway sex if the hottest thing ever?

Formercitygirl...WELCOME! And yes, creaky floors are THE worst when it comes to sneaking upstairs, plus they make me feel like I weigh 200 pounds with how loud they moan.

Natalie...hehe. Who doesn't like that song? No one.

H.E.Eigler said...

Man, that sounds so nice. It would be great to go somewhere that doesn't have a kids menu!

Mekhismom said...

Thanks for leaving a comment on the discussion on MBC and introducing me to your blog (because of course I had visit)! Now I will be reading your blog on a daily basis. You are too funny.

Asianmommy said...

No fight here. That sounds like the best night ever!