Monday, July 14, 2008

Fudge rounds are my happy place.

I have a bit of a...oh let's see how to put it...an anger problem. As in, I get angry easily about insignificant things, and continue to stew about it for 3-5 days afterward. ..at least. I still hate Alisha M. for messing around with my best friend Laura's boyfriend in 7th grade. She was a backstabbing whore. A whore.

See.

Here I am, a grown adult, somebody's mother, and I am still pissy about some teenage drama from 15ish years ago. Laura didn't even like the guy that much, but it was the principle of the whole thing, and you are nothing without your principles, folks.

So, tonight, after a lovely shrimp dinner (which I slaved over, de-pooping fresh shrimp for half an hour!), my husband and I decided to take the boys for a walk in the wagon. It was so wonderfully Rockwell. Children were laughing, neighbors were chatting, lightning bugs were dancing all around like little magic fairies.

And then he said something completely ridiculous regarding my so called "overreaction" to an "innocent" remark made by his mother, and my apparent "pattern of bitchiness" concerning this issue in the past, and my need to "grow up" and "rise above" my need to resort to cursing and "over dramatizing" the situation.

A bunch of crap, right?

Well, I stopped my wagon right on the spot, and the boys and I headed home without another word.

He, of course, kept walking with the pug, I suppose to remind me he still had a set of balls, which was silly, as the whole thing would have blown over had he stopped walking, gotten down on his knees in the middle of the street, and proclaimed in front of everyone he was wrong, and that I am the most beautiful woman to ever live.

This did not happen, and when he finally returned home, the boys and I were already content on the couch watching Definitely, Maybe and eating carrot sticks.

What followed was a series of loud grunts, and exaggerated throat clearings, but he obviously forgot that you cannot penetrate my wall of stone silence. This turned out to put me in a bit of a pickle, as the DVD player froze up all weird, almost forcing me to break code and make contact, luckily I was able to will it back into submission with my death glare. Crisis avoided.

The thing is, I don't want to be angry. I just got done watching an adorable movie, and all I want to do it go upstairs and break in the new guestroom bed, but I can't. Because of my principles.

So, I guess me and my principles are stuck with you folks tonight, eating fudge rounds and sighing loudly until somebody decides to apologize.

17 comments:

Jan said...

Don't forget - Papa loves Mama so much. But hell, make him pay for a bit longer! You don't want him getting too complacent. ;-)

Fiesty Charlie said...

And then there were those eraser marks around the shoes in your header picture... lol

This too will pass. I hear "make up sex" is good.

Damn I so need a good fight!

The Mom said...

I will happily eat fudge rounds with you. PRINCIPLES! He will cave. If you ignore him, he will cave.

Can we put some chocolate frosting on these rounds...damn him.

flickrlovr said...

You're hee-lair-ee-us. Fo reals, chickie. Yeah, I felt compelled to call you chickie. Don't mind me.

Fudge rounds? Good.
Hubs making stoopid comments? Bad.

Put him in his place, girl!

He totally should have done as you suggested and thrown himself prostrate on the asphalt, in front of the neighbors, to sing you a sweet apology. That's my take on the whole thing.

H.S. drama dies hard.

AJ said...

Oh no he didn't!!!!

My own anger issues aside, MILs are a particularly sensitive subject. I think because of the mother-son bond. Or in my MILs case the 'manipulative-evil-being'-son bond. I understand it more since I've had a son. He is a mamma's boy, and the world revolves around me in his eyes. I dread the day some hussie comes and tries to win his sweet little affection. With my daughter it's a total different story. I try to teach her to be strong in case she has to break some evil MIL:) I think we're just programmed to have some animosity towards MILs. I blame nature:)

Regarding anger issues...I saw an article headline the other day that said 'Go to bed angry.' I saw the article and thought 'You bed your sweet ass I do, and now I have a defense!!"

Brittany said...

Jan...HA! I know, it's STILL there because I refuse to get that area wet, and it almost broke me down in the shower last night, but I was strong.

Charlie...I know, see how he fixed those? Silly boys.

Jen...I need an editor. And, yes, bring the chocolate frosting, what doesn't fit n the fudge rounds, we'll eat straight out of the container.

Sierra...I am totally cool with chickie...I am pretty sure it's one of the nicer tings I have been called:) And yes, he has still YET to apologize to me this morning, and I am not making a peep until he does:)

AJ...See, this whole future MIL crap scares the crap out of me, because society all but grooms us to hate your MIL. So really, this whole thing isn't even my fault...it's society's.

Dejoni said...

Were we seperated at birth? Were you born in a little hospital in Hartford, Ky? That's what they tell me. I always felt like I had a twin...and then my brother always told me they found me under a rock...
I am STILL pissed at Lynn Whitehead for stealing my bunny eraser in the second grade. I was vindicated when the biatch was sent home two days later with LICE.
My motto...what comes around goes around.
Cigarattes used to be my happy place...now it's chocolate cake.

Jennifer said...

Why don't men understand that if they just admit they were wrong right off the bat they'll avoid the stoney silence (and the crying and screaming that follows--at least at my house!)? They always end up apologizing anyway!!

I hope it doesn't last too long and at least you have the fudge!

Raging Dad said...

Holy crap, is this my wife's blog? Oh wait, no. Good impersonation though! :) Very funny post.

Brittany said...

Dejoni...We ARE twins, but fraternal ones. You look way taller and hotter. And, so help me if I ever run into Lynn Whitehead.

Jennifer...He just apologized...now I am onto phase two which consists of acting pissy for no good reason, but at least I am acknowledging his existence.

Raging Dad...Thanks, it's really a mandatory lesson you men need to learn:)

ali said...

Fudge Rounds with cool whip will upgrade your 'happy place' to 'nirvana'

Trust me.

Cheryl said...

Love it, sounds like me and my hubby, been married 24 years!

kel said...

Usually if you stay mad, they'll bend. In my experience, anyway. And in the meantime, you can blame him if you eat too many fudge rounds while waiting for his apology.

Not Just Any Jen said...

Oh, looks like he apologized, hope he kisses ass so you can break in that bed.
Jen

HRH said...

Wow. I seriously don't like Lauren either.

Hmmmmm....carrot sticks?

Brooke said...

I hear ya loud and clear. I'm one of those too. But I'm not stubborn!!

Where did you get fudge rounds? I want some.

Great - now I'm in the mood to pick a fight.

Lisa Marie said...

Okay Britt I can so vouch for you that Alisha M still in fact is a dirty whore! She has cheated on her current boyfriend lol Anyhoo, I am late on this but I am the same way you cant let him win you have to stand your ground and when all is good ALL IS GOOD! lol and go figure that the DVD would freeze up on you good thing for your glare!!!! lol