Sunday, July 6, 2008

Paula Deen's Porn on the Cob

Ok, let's start this bad boy off with a couple disclaimers, eh?

1. Shocking as this may be to some of you, this post borders on lewd, with a pinch of bad taste, and a dash of "oh no she didn't" for good measure. How I have managed to work either of these into an actual recipe, I will never understand, it's just my gift from God.

2. I consider myself a foodie, not a chef, and especially not a ultra healthy one at that. If you find yourself queasy at the site of mayonnaise, then maybe you wanna skip this one.

Alrighty, let's talk corn.

So, I came across this recipe while watching Paula Deen, which I do, without guilt. I made it as a joke, as there was no way this recipe tasted as good as she was moaning it did. Turns out, I was wrong, it was good, and my husband was hooked, so now it's a summer time staple.

Cheese on the Cob...a picture guide to the inappropriate yet delicious

Shucked Corn on the Cob
Real Mayonnaise
Kosher Salt
Chili Powder
Fresh Black Pepper
Grated Parmesan Cheese
Foil

1. Coat the ear of corn with a thick layer of mayonnaise. I fully recommend completing this step by using some sort of clean kitchen brush utensil...which I was unable to locate...so I had to use my hands...sorry.

So, this is me, slathering on disgusting globs of mayonnaise in, what appears to be, a completely gratuitous phallic manner. Ok, ya know what. I don't even have an excuse for this. The kids were asleep, and me and the hubby were totally making wiener jokes. It was hilarious...at the time...you totally had to be there. Anyways, you get the picture, rub on a pretty thick coat.

2. Next, you are going to want to sprinkle the ear with salt, pepper, chili powder, and Parmesan cheese, and rub all over to coat...I'll save you all from that hot mess of a photo.

3. Place the coated corn on a small square of foil, and wrap it like a tootsie roll.

4. Stack in a shiny OCD pyramid until grill is hot.

5. Grill corn over high heat, flipping once, for 10 minutes on each side.

5. Let cool 5 minutes or so, and dig in.

Alright, I think we crossed a couple lines here today, folks. I feel like I should apologize, so, um, sorry if I have forever ruined corn for you.

26 comments:

J.Danger said...

This is how I make MY corn! I got it from the Deen too!

Awesome!

Although, I must say it looks more enjoyable for you-

ali said...

Oh no you didn't!

Yum--I'm gonna have to try this!

Brittany said...

Danger...SHUT UP! For real!?!?!?! Isn't it the best! I love the Deen!

Ali...Giirrrlll! I know, I have issues...the camera needs to be taken from me. And yes, you must try it, with the proper utensils, of course. If not, take pictures so I know I am not the only freak:)

Jennifer said...

I'm making this tonight!!

Dejoni said...

You are a Nasty, Nasty girl!

The Mom said...

Um, i'm a little turned on right now!

AJ said...

I Love Love Love Paula Deen. I mean love her. To the point that I fantasize about her being my mother in law. Mainly becuase my actual MIL is horrible and we don't talk to her, but partly because I have a slight crush on Jaime and Bobby. Come on...cute country boys who like to cook, who doesn't find them adoreable?

Come to think of it, I love pretty much all members of the food network, too.

Brittany said...

Jennifer...Do it! Warning...hot corn sex may follow though:)

Dejoni...Um, that's Ms. Jackson if you're nasty.

Jen...I know, right! I know how to work the ladies.

AJ...OMG the dimples. THE DIMPLES! And I too wish she was my MIL! We would be so close and we would cook together, and drink together, it would be heaven!

Nicole said...

I love Paula. My husband always tells me she is weird. I have to tell him to never talk about Paula like that she is the best. I have also made this corn on the cob it is the best. The best part about it is that my husband hates mayo... He thinks it is butter ;-)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Of course you realize, you are now going to have all kinds of traffic from corn perverts who Google "corn porn and mayonnaise".

And thank you for leaving such sweet comments on my blog! You've probably broken a record for becoming the fastest fan. Funny how strangers like your blog, but you can't get most of your damn family to give a rat's ass and take the time.

Anyway, thanks again, and now I'm off to read more of your posts, because you make me laugh!

lamb said...

most def dont know eachother from that. my name was LnA and i hardly ever posted. for some reason there are like 4 weddings i remember from my year of lurking, and yours was one of them because your flower girls had wings. the thought to put wings on my flower girls had never, ever crossed my mind. then i saw yours, and i was so pissed i never came up with that, and there wasnt enough time to execute it.

how fucking crazy is it that you are the wing girl. my mind has officially been blown.

i gotta go shower now. i feel dirty for stalking on two diff mediums now.

Fiesty Charlie said...

LOL, at first, I thought you were cooking naked in the first picture! That made me sit closer to the screen... Then I realized you were not in fact naked, so I could sit back and actually read what your blog was about!

Got corn?
Yep!
What are you going to do with it? "Corn Porn the Barefoot Foodie way!"

Thanks for the recipe and the cheap thrill! You just rock! And your eyebrows look pretty good today!

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

My girls love Paula Deen--I love everything about her but that dang mayo; maybe if I made it without the mayo.
Love the blog--I am a total foodie myself ;)

Emiline said...

OMG- so good! LOVE it.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Actually now you've made me crave corn. Among other things.

Shelly... said...

Corn and mayonnaise--two of my favorite things! I will have to try this recipe although I don't know if I will be able to look at corn the same way again after your post! Thanks for the laugh!

LiteralDan said...

Ruin corn?? Dude, you made it awesome! And you guys sound like my wife and I whenever either of us has to give a cucumber a rubdown with the vegetable cleaning spray.

I think my wife will love this recipe, I'll have to show it to her. Since I have first dibs here, I say she gets to do the mayo rubs.

Brittany said...

Nicole...Tell your husband HE is weird, Paula is a saint.

Nanny...Hell, I pray my fam avoids the blog, so I can blog about them in a snarky yet humorous way without guilt:)

Lamb...STFU! You remember the wings!? I am going to go down in history as the wing girl!? That is so fucking funny! Honestly, it took like 40 man hours to make those bitches.

Charlie...God love ya girl! I must say, mayo is very moisturizing, so doing anything with it while naked isn't a half bad idea.

Lisa...I swear on all things holy you won't taste the mayo. I SWEAR!

Emiline...I feel ridiculous posting about mayo corn when you make such amazing non mayo items:)

Jenny...Looks like someone needs an erotic mayo rub down...let me tell ya, it's pretty awesome:)

Shelly...You must try it, you will LOVE IT! Scouts honor. Although, to make it over the top good, you gotta make it half naked...I don't make the rules, Paula does.

Dan...OMG, can we be inappropriately erotic vegetable handler friends!?!?!?!?! We'll be a hit at parties...or any other place that requires a relish plate!

Brittany said...

This is your blog and you can do what you want with it.
BUT.
I think you should have made the picture of you rubbing the mayo on the corn your profile picture. It's just too awesome for words.
Just sayin is all.

Brittany said...

Brittany...I see where you are going with this, but the thing is, i don't want to come off as a complete whore...so I thought a hand shot of what looked like semen would be more appropriate. i gotta make them work for it, ya know?

shannon said...

I made this after reading your post, I had seen it on PHC - I must have not put enough stuff on it, because it tasted kind of bland... Boo. Will try again this evening. :)

HeatherW said...

I made this corn tonight and it was soooo cute!!!!!

Thanks for the recommendation!!

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