Sunday, July 6, 2008

Ground Control to Major Tom

Sick of the obscure song references yet?

So, here's the deal. This is what I woke up looking like this morning.

Besides the fact that I am becoming painfully self conscious that one eye is clearly bigger than the other, and my one eyebrow is always arched higher than the other one, and I need to embrace the fact that I have missed the wrinkle reducing eye cream boat...ok, seriously, no more up close face shots.

But, more importantly, there is blue on my face. I went to bed sans blue, and woke up looking like I spent the night at a rave. But, oddly, there were no glow sticks or hello kitty backpacks in sight, so I have embraced some other possible causes of the blue.

1. I am slowly morphing into Mike Tyson (I've always been a bit of a ear nibbler).
2. I was destined to be a member of Kiss (you should see my tongue!).
3. There was a secret 10 year old all girl slumber party in my bed last night, and I unknowingly fell asleep first (which explains my panties in the freezer).
4. Some Ziggy Stardust loving alien shook things up a bit with a crop-less crop circle design on my face (and, let's face it, what alien wouldn't love Bowie).
5. I fell asleep on a renegade blue M&M my kids left behind.

Sadly, me thinks it was #5...which sucks because I have been dying to make prank phone calls to cute boys, not to mention I kick fucking ass on the air guitar.


Natalie said...

i am wondering about that tie-dyed blue shirt you wore the other day. was it anywhere near your bed last night? remember what it did to your skin?

although a rave party sounds like fun!

and if you're dressing up like need 3 more band members. sign me up! you can be gene simmons since you have the tongue thing. i will be paul stanley the starry-eyed romantic. we rock!

Emiline said...

I like the David Bowie reference.

I thought it was a bruise at first. That would be awful if you got into a fight.

Fiesty Charlie said...

Wayward candy? I wonder what it would have looked like had you fallen into a stupor with several colors under your head??

Yet again, you crack me up and now that damn song is playing on repeat in my head!!

Gee thanks!?

Kelli said...

I like the slumbe party theory best. I think you should go with it!

AJ said...

As moms, we really should keep lists of things found in our beds after our kids have been there. Mine would include: cracker crumbs, spaghetti sauce, chocolate, lots of spilled milk, spoons, plly pockets, etc. My list could get really long:)

Laura said...

Screw the blue face, I'd kill to wake up with hair like that. That is AMAZING morning hair. You rock girl!

Dejoni said...

We're you guys playing with blueberry edible panties last night?

Sandy C. said...

I agree, I'm loving the hair!

Did you at least get a chance to eat some of the M&M's?

p.s. One of my eyes is bigger than the other :(

Nichol said...

You are rocking the close up girl! Especially 1st thing in the morning. The brows seems to be coming along nicely.

Melissa said...

I agree. I would kill for morning hair like that. Mine? I have squirrel hair. Not hair that should be on a squirrel, but that a squirrel has played in. Very sad.

HRH said...

Lord have mercy. I am laughing so hard I can't control my fingers. Next time you go to a rave give me a call 'cuz we would fit in so well there together.

Brittany said...

Natalie...Oh good thought! Luckily, I am behind on that shirt is no where in sight.

Emiline...Um, a bar fight would be a sweet story!

Charlie...Had I fallen asleep on a whole host of colors, my hubby would have woken up thinking he was on acid...if he had any idea what acid was.

Kelli...I agree, I look for any excuse to pull out my Ouija board.

AJ...I agree, mine would be both long and's surprising there aren't critters in there eating all the junk.

Laura...You are too kind, I may or may not contribute to the fall of the ozone layer with my aerosol things hold up well:)

Dejoni...Damn you may be right! It could very well be blue drool from the panties I ate off last night!

Sandy...Is there some kind of surgery for our eye issue?! And yes, I would never waste an M&M.

Nichol...THANKS! Gotta admit though, they are a little Rainbow Bright.

Melissa...There is nothing wrong with the tussled look, rock it out!

HRH...I am all over it, I will be the one in the corner clutching my purse and sniffing the drinks:)

Trooper Thorn said...

It could be an undocumented side effect from some allergy medication you are taking. There is only so much time at the end of those TV commercials to list all the side effects, no matter how quickly the guy talks.

"May result in spontaneous facial vein rupture and permanent skin discoloration. Avoid being seen in public and keep away from direct sunlight."

I think drug research labs are the last pocket of Nazi doctors and they increase the side effects until the original condition is preferable to the treatment.

Brittany said...

Thorn..we are on the same page. I don't take medicine for that VERY reason. Looks like I have found myself a shiny new conspiracy theory partner! WELCOME!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

That's not one renegade blue M&M. That is a Busby Berkeley synronized swimming chorus line of blue M&Ms having a total party on your face!

I love the fact that you can wake up with "something" on your face and take a picture of it and show it to us! Thank you for that! And for the LOLs!

lindaloohoo - said...

ooh, oooh, i thought of a number six.
performed sexual favors for papa smurf.
or was that me? i seem to have this thing for cartoon characters.
ok, way too much information.
number five. definitely.