Sunday, July 20, 2008

Smell me...you wanna fight?

What up bitches.

Yikes, did I come across too strong just then?

Sorry, I ran out of deodorant (damn you $8 Secret Clinical, why you gotta cost so much for so little?), so all weekend I have been banished to hubby's manly Old Spice...so I am feeling a bit like a bad ass. In fact, I have been fighting the urge to put someone in a headlock just so they can smell how musky I am.

What? You want a piece of me?

That's right, keep rolling old lady on a scooter who delivers the paper, you can't handle this.

So, looks like I need to make a run to the store...hubby is sick of me asking him if he wants tickets to the gun show.

I think this deodorant is laced with testosterone and bear urine, because I feel all hot and bothered, and like I could catch a bloody salmon out of the river with my bare teeth.

Anyways, guess what I did last night? Or should I say...last knight?

Figure it out?

...

....

Maybe this will help.

BAM! POW! CRASH!

I know, pretty fierce, huh.

I really can't say much more than has already been said, Batman was awesome. Every facet of the very long movie was amazing. Luckily, Christian Bale is so ridiculously hot that I was able to look past his weird raspy emphysema/pedophile voice he uses when he's Batman. On the way home, I asked hubby if he would put on the Batman mask and sneak up behind me using the creepy raspy voice to ask me I want to see his batmobile... but no dice. He's not so much into role playing. Pity.

In other weekend news, we had another equally important Superhero Summit going on in the living room regarding the shared use of the bubble blowing lawn mower. Things looked optimistic for a while, then Batman spoke out of turn, and talks just broke down completely.

33 comments:

Unknown said...

I am so envious of you - you got to see Batman. My husband and I are going to see it tomorrow. Um, you are really scary I wouldn't want to meet up with you in a dark alley or anywhere for that matter. I hope that the change in deodorant works on your attitude. Then I would be amenable to a meeting!

Julie H said...

LOL you crack me up. My daughter buys herself Old Spice. She says she sweats too much for girl deodorant. Maybe that is why she is so agressive...

Momo Fali said...

I've had to break down and wear my husband's deodorant. Made me want to kiss myself all day long.

kel said...

You make me laugh and scare the sh#$ out of me at the same time. So much talent!

Anonymous said...

The BF uses the Old Spice Afterhours and it gags me. Actually this past Monday, he came home from Denver and I accused him of having some kind of cologne on because he smelled weird. He said it must have been the smelly foreign guy that he sat next to on the plane. I went with that and then felt like an idiot when I realized it was his deodorant.

And you look totally hot in your Batman mask! LOL

Laura said...

I may just have to borrow the hubby's deodorant for work tomorrow. I'm very intrigued.

Brittany said...

secret clinical changed my life. It's worth every f'ing penny. BUT...8 freakin bucks? I feel your pain.

Heather said...

Those are some adorable superheroes.

Cynthia said...

So dying to see the new Batman! I'm going Wed.

Thanks for your kind words about McSwayze on my blog...If Colbert doesn't air it, he's dead to me!

Politi Gal said...

The kids are too cute!

Not Just Any Jen said...

The boys are so cute!
I was wearing my husband's deodorant for a week or so before I broke down. That man odor was getting to me too. Glad you got to get out for a movie!

Nichol said...

Spot on with the Batman review! Especially the voice... My husband can't stop talking like that.

The Mom Jen said...

WHAT IS it about wearing hubby's deoderant that is just well....*shudder*...Christian Bale as Batman??!

OMG we saw the movie last night and it was sooooo good! God rest Heath Ledger, man he was stunning as the Joker.

Natalie said...

wow! cute superheroes. all three of them! it's too bad your hubby wouldn't play along.

i haven't seen the movie...not even sure if it is out here. i'm sure the older kids will be begging to go though.

and i must say that the one thing i don't like about movies is something that i have no doubt will bother me in this one. they are so freaking loud. expecially superhero movies. or any movies with fighting. i need to buy some earplugs.

grandma will shut up now.

AJ said...

From a fellow strong deodorant needer on a budget:

Secret clinical is 20% of the magic ingredient (aluminum tetrachloride) for $8...Mitchum is the exact same strngth for $3 and Secret Flawless is 19% magic and is only $4 something...I haven't noticed a difference from the Clinical to the Flawless....and I'm a super-sweaty girl.

I saw the movie this weekend too, with 3 other adults! It was like Heaven to be out sans kids.....and the movie was great....and Christian Bale is RIDICULOUSLY hot in that movie!

Karen said...

I'm still giggling about the Superhero summit and the photo. That's just funny!

J.L. Danger said...

OMG! How freaking cute are you kids in time out! Sometimes thats the worse, when you have to teach em the proverbial lesson but they look so cute you just wanna cuddle up with them?! Too cute!

nice mask!

Jennifer said...

I've actually got the Old Spice deodorant on today too--I kind of like it!

Your little superheroes are adorable!!

Thistlemoon said...

I just saw Batman yesterday and man, did I love it! I am so with you on the Christian Bale thing! :)

flickrlovr said...

That shot of the boys needs a frame. Too good for words.

I think you should wear that Batman mask all day, every day. Except that then we wouldn't ever see your beautiful face...and you might scare small children and animals. Okay, forget that.

I have yet to go see the movie. I'm scared of the Joker, but want to see the performance everyone's talking about [Heath's]. I still can't believe he's gone. So sad.

Miss Lisa said...

If I run out of deodarant, I just use rubbing alcohol--often (doesn't work too great but my husband has that smelly stuff too and it makes me break out in hives).
I can't wait to see Batman--and I hate going to movies ;)

Betting no one on the screen will be as cute as your little superheros.

Ali said...

My husband had to use my deo as back up once. It was nice. He wanted quiche for dinner followed by snuggling on the couch while watching House Hunters on HGTV.

HeatherW said...

Awww that picture is so adorable!!

I can't wait to see Batman!! We weren't allowed to see it this weekend because we were too slow and all the IMAX tickets were sold out!! I don't have a choice to see it in non IMAX because "it was made to be seen in IMAX!" hehehe.

Brittany said...

Mekhismom...Dude, I know, I am a total bad ass, I wouldn't want to meet me in a dark alley either!

Mom taxi...HAHAHA! I seriosuly think there is something chemical going on in man deodorant, I don't know how she can stand it!

Momo...I do smell pretty hot and musky...I would totally roll around with myself in bed all day long if I had the chance.

Kel...Awww, I love ya girly! I am normally not so aggressive, but I am channeling cavemen with this deodorant, my knuckles are dragging on the ground.

Dreaded...Thanks, I am going to continue wearing it to fight crime, and by crime I mean changing diapers and flipping off my neighbors.

Laura...You can try, but let this be a warning to you!

Brittany...I know! What the fuck secret! I can get condoms and beer for less than that!

Heather...thanks, i am quite fond of them myself!

Nap...Oh you will love it, just wear comfy jeans, it was almost too long of a sit for me in my skinny jeans, i had to unbutton.

Politigirl...Thanks, they grow on ya:)

Jen...I know! It is totally burning my nose hairs!

Nichol...Isn't the voice totally creepy!? I laughed every time he used it!

Jen...Stunning is exactly that, he was just...there are no words.

Natalie...Hey old lady, you will need some ear plugs for this bad boy, lots of loud action scenes:)

AJ...See, this is the scientific information I needed! I knew I was getting ripped off!

Karen...Thanks, they are total comedians!

Danger...I know, it was so hard disciplining them while I kept laughing and taking pictures. they have no idea what being in trouble even means.

Jennifer...Listen, don't scratch your crotch in public...they frown on that!

Jenn...Wasn't he delicious!?

Flickr...It was kinda thriller, but so good, a must see. And I would totally wear the mask, but it is a toddler size 2T...and it is kinda leaving indents on my face:)

Lisa...Thank you, and wait...alcohol works? why didn't I know this? I was a girl scout, how did I miss this!?

Ali...Ok stop...FUCKING HILARIOUS!

Heather said...

See? People looked at me like I was crazy, but I am serious: Husband Deodorant smells like hot sex.

You should see Hellboy II, while you're letting boys decide what movies to see.

Jenni said...

YOU are hysterical! LOL! That Secret Clinical is good stuff, isn't it? I am a 2 layer girl myself, because I sweat like a marathon runner in hell.

Momisodes said...

ROFL! That last pic and your Old Spice are Killing Me!! :)

I definitely want to see Batman too.

Why IS Secret so damn expensive?

Rachel said...

I have spent the past 5 minutes ROLLING! Your blog, as you well know, is hilarious! And, your kids are pretty darn cute!!!!

Thanks for the comment.

Anonymous said...

Oh--they're so cute!

Jo-Jo said...

I can't seem to get my kids bubble blowing lawn mower to blow bubbles! I have had to use my hubbies before and I can't say I had a change in hormone levels (maybe cause he uses Right Guard Spray) but I hated how I smelled! I think the smell changed on me cause it smells so good on him!

Anonymous said...

Superhero summit. Brilliant. And I mean Brilliant like when those British guys say it, like all, "That's Brilliant." I just know it deserves capitalization.

Time to dust off the old copy of Robert's Rules!

And where'd you get the mask?! Yowza!

Kat said...

Classic! Bummed I missed the summit though. My little superhero must have been off saving that old lady on the scooter :)

Unknown said...

I once ran out of deodorant and used my wife's Secret or something with some sort of delayed time release so by the end of the day, I was reeking of flowers.