Monday, August 11, 2008

Since when did the sun get so...sunny?

Sorry for skipping out on you, folks. I was busy. And by busy, I mean hungover...and bloated...and also trying to avoid maintaining an upright position for any period of time.

This weekend we celebrated my little brother Adam's birthday (Happy Birthday Addy!) the only way we know how, a big bonfire and BBQ. Lots of music, lots of drinking, lots of lawn games, lots of stonewashed denim, lots of flannel shirts with the sleeves cut off...you get the picture.

In an attempt to maintain my girlish figure, and not burp like a man, I stayed away from the beer, and stuck to margaritas, no salt, ya know, to keep them healthy, more like a serving of fruit, and you can never get to much of that.
Pretty much the drunkest hottest group of sister in law lawn bowlers ever!

Turns out, that extra (3) serving of fruit was just what I needed to kick the ass of all my lawn bowling competitors! Bring it! My aim is impeccable, and my trash talking is second to none!

Husband, please bring me another margarrrrita, ahorita (please note, the full effect of this phrase can't be felt unless I am standing next to you doing it in my Charro broken English voice. Sorry. It's super funny though, trust me)!

We played until the terrain started to slope...which I am told is due to the fact that my brother made the margaritas with Everclear, having been out of tequila...which suddenly presented itself with a whole new set of issues...like where my bra went and motherfucker I better not vomit, no one looks cute vomiting, and we are on a baby making schedule, no one wants to have sex with someone with little pieces of corn puke in their hair.

Luckily, that last part wasn't an issue...and I can say with all inappropriate honesty, there was definitely some fun had amongst the corn stalks that night. Now won't that make for a lovely conception story!













This, however, I have no explanation for...but I am sure it was hilarious at the time...ok, it still is, but probably only to us...and the guy taking the guy taking the pictures. Come to think of it, everyone there thought corn hide and seek was hysterical, so maybe you all just have a bad sense of humor.

Quick test:

Name the funniest movie ever.

White chicks!? Get off of my blog!

Everyone knows it's Caddyshack.

Needless to say, the next day was...rough. I looked like I had been rolling around in a field and smelled like bonfire and bug spray.

But, alas, no sympathy from my prohibitionist husband...no matter how much sad face I gave him. He's ruthless.


So, we spent the day at the zoo, the super sunny bright zoo, full of loud noises and hurl inducing smells. We spent an hour in the petting zoo, most of the time spent not petting the goats, but rather chasing them around, waiting for them to poop out little raisins, then trying to eat them before anyone (and by anyone, I mean me) was the wiser...I love little boys!

32 comments:

Casey said...

"
Husband, please bring me another margarrrrita, ahorita"

I did just say this outloud WITH a very Antonio Bandaras overacting English - Spanish accent.

It was pretty fierce, and by fierce I mean amazing.

alanna rose said...

Now the Caddyshack theme song is stuck in my head... guess I'll have to introduce the baby to that fine piece of cinema tomorrow.

The petting zoo looks familiar... I think we have the same zoo. Come to think of it - the corn looks awfully familiar, too.

dreaded-destiny said...

Your hair looks cute!

Brandy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lisa Marie said...

Okay so this was the BEST time EVER!!! You did miss the part where your son threw the heavy ball onto my big toe and it hurt REAL BAD lol and you just laughed REAL HARD... and so did I... because it was so funny lol We def. need to do that again soon. Where is the pic of your glasses that landed in the dog poop though? Or are you saving that for another blog? I hope that is next because that was the best!!!

Allison said...

Can you buy everclear with food stamps?

Now he's mad at me.

The Mom said...

Nice rolling of your r's!! Ugh the zoo with a hangover...I feel like barfing and I wasn't there! ;)

Ooh there a new twist to "children" of the corn.

Shelly... said...

Ya know I had never thought about Margaritas in terms of "fruit" servings. But you said it's so and I believe you. Not to mention the fact that you drink enough Margaritas you won't get scurvy!

Corn hide-and-seek looks like fun, but only if I was drunk cuz there are spiders, ticks (remember those) and other assorted bugs on those stalks!

Fiesty Charlie said...

You had way more fun this weekend than I did... damn you again and again!

Why are we (your loyal and dedicated readers) never invited to the fun stuff until it is all over but the puking??

{grin} You know I love you!

Mekhismom said...

I can't believe you made it to that petting zoo. On a good day the stench is something to contend with, I can't imagine doing so with a hangover. You are a trooper!

J.Danger said...

Well at least you look cute!

Sandy C. said...

The zoo!? Oy.

Suddenly, I'm wishing we had corn fields around here.

kel said...

I'm concerned with your behavior. While you were in the cornfields, did you even think about looking out for ticks?

flickrlovr said...

I'm pretty sure that the picture of your little man chasing after the goat butts is priceless. Especially with the description before it.

A little rollin' around in the cornfields, eh? Good times, good times.

Swirl Girl said...

Once again, sounds like quite a party. Hope you were able to remove the corn bits before the porn bits!

lamb said...

i dont care how long they keep me in suburbia, NOTHING is better than a bonefire party.

schwartz said...

and here I thought they were goobers!

You and L and J look adorable, btw!

Judy@nofearentertaining said...

Looks like so much fun!!! Isn't the zoo (or anything involving loud children having too much fun) the worst with a hangover?????????

Average Girl In Average World said...

You know better! Last time them cornfields left you a present!

Better to have chunks of corn in your hair then pee down your leg!! lol....

Petting zoo?!?!?! Brave woman I tell ya.

AJ said...

OMG, a girl after my own heart. Growing up in rural Michigan, in a town with more cows than people, I have been in many a cornfield. And the conception in a cornfield is such a great idea, that for a brief minute I was planning a trip home during that special 'baby making' time after you mentioned what a great idea it was. Then I remembered my fam planted wheat this year. Damn it, damn it, damn it. It just wouldn't work the same, it's not tall enough, and too pokey....although I've had many a wicked paper cut from corn stalk leaves. I wouldn't want one of those any where near the unmentionables!

Brittany said...

Brandy said...
OH GOD. I laughed out loud a lot at this one. Your photo with Lisa and Jodi in it says something about sister in law. Are you guys related somehow now? Ugh, I feel like I'm in another world where I know nothing about the people that live around there any more!

August 11, 2008 10:21 PM

Casey...Well. look at you hotness! I can't wait until we can get together and talk in broken English to each other!

Alanna...Oh yeah, well, Ohio corn is like no other:)

Destiny...Aww thanks!

Lisa..I KNOW! And, I totally forgot about the bowling ball on your toe...and the poop. DAMN IT! I even have a picture of that! I can't believe Jodi didn't punch me in the face for doing that! I so have to use that!

Allison...Um yeah, with yoda foot stamps you can!

Jen...HAHAHAHA! If it worked that will be our nickname for him!

Shelly...Um, actually...I literally just freaked out and checked my head for ticks when I read that. How did this not occur to me?

Charlie...Well, this depends...do you have cowboy boots (aka shit kickers)? Have you ever driven a lawn mower to someplace that isn't your lawn? Can you arm wrestle and crunch beer cans on your head? Do you take off your hat during Free Bird and start to cry? If not...you may not like it....

Mekhismom...Thanks! I tried telling this to my hubby, but he doesn't drink, so he has no concept of hangover:(

Danger...Awww, I love you!

Sandy...Go find a cornfield! Maybe it's the secret to conception!

Kel...No, I didn't even think of it until now, thanks. I am going to have my husband re check my head for ticks as soon as I am done typing. I could have LIMES disease by now!

Flickr...I plan to frame it for the living room, I mean, you can never get those moments back.

Swirl...Luckily, it didn't come to that....thank god.

Lamb...SO true! Now hop in your mini van, turn on your GPS, grab a trendy coffee and get on out here:)

Schwartz...Thanks, we had so much fun, it was ridic!

Brandy...It was a blast, tell me you don't miss stuff like that! Oh, and yep, we are related, through Adam and Jodi:)

Brittany said...

Judy...YES! I hope you didn't have to go anywhere after that bottle of Lemoncello you made!

Average Girl...I need to be reminded of such things! And, thankfully, I am tick free...as far as I can tell!

AJ...See, we are lucky this year, because our crop rotation is with soy beans...and THOSE suckers hurt!

Stephanie said...

Ok, inquiring minds want to know whose idea it was to hit up the zoo the next day?

Ugh...that just sounds painful. Fun story though!

Carolyn...Online said...

I'm stuck on the fact that there was Everclear in the 'ritas. And am wondering who would have held my hair for me while I puked if I had partaken of them.

Jennifer said...

Your Charro impression was good even through the Internets!!

Raging Dad said...

I have never lawn bowled, but it clearly looks fun with margaritas!

Mommie Mayhem said...

Looks like you had a blast .... Wheres my margarita ? I thought we were staying away from the corn fields !!

Nikki said...

super cute pic of you, lisa and her sis! love your sunglasses. ;) lets reschedule our gno soon.

Mr. Noodle said...

Sounds like quite the party!! Made me crave Everclear. I havent had that in like forever!! Never heard of corn hide & seek though...

Mr. Noodle

Emiline said...

A romp in the corn stalks? Now that sounds like some real fun! I hope to try it someday.
Where do you live? Nebraska? Iowa?

I love a good margarita. They really are healthy for you. Full of citrus juices, and the alcohol gets your heart pumpin.

Penelope said...

Sounds like a fun time! I love the pictures in the cornstalk!

Thanks for visiting my blog. I'm glad you like the ban.do's; aren't they great?

Howard Bannister said...

Eager to hear if there's any residual trauma induced by the exposure to goats at the petting zoo.

You know, there's a support group for adults who were traumatized by petting zoo goat encounters as children?

It's true.

Goats are terrifying.