Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Lemons into lemoncello, a Christmas card story

Once upon a time, my home was filled with cute, adorable, saccharine filled Christmas pictures. The likes of which made for the types of Christmas cards one would keep displayed year round.

Giggles. Babies in oversized Santa hats. Puppies hiding under the tree.

It was a gay time.

But this year, with the biting winter winds, change was in the air.

No more smiles or cheery holiday posing. In it's place came pug wrestling, and poking, and tears.

Lots and lots of tears.

Try as I might, every semi-professional, sheet backdrop, dangling snickers over their heads photoshoots I set up ended in disaster.

What was I to do?

Abort my holiday photocard tradition for the boring old generic Walmart bought Christmas card?

Probably.

But wait...I'm resourceful!

I once made a beer bong from an old tire liner and a maxi pad from teddy bear stuffing. Surely, I could make this whole fiasco work to my advantage.

So, here we are. The three volume series of photo Christmas cards that left my house this year.

Ho. Ho.

Ho.


Merry Christmas, everyone!

48 comments:

Average Girl In Average World said...

I vote for the last one!!! Everyone makes their kids cry at one point throught the holiday pictures. Your boys are gorgeous, just wait til that baby girl is here....

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

AJ said...

What are Christmas Cards without tears, fighting, and minor injuries? Boring!

Jennifer said...

Love all of those! Very well done.

Merry Christmas.

P.S. The Danny DeVito Limoncello is the absolute best!!

Comedy Goddess said...

I like all three. Send them all three. It's Christmas for cryin out loud!

Dejoni said...

That last one is priceless and the perfect one to send out! LMFAO!

speedymac77 said...

IF my vote matters, #3. I've received too many cards with the perfectly smiling kids, background with faux snow. Pffff - that's NOT how it goes around here for the holidays! There's always a family tiff, someone gets their new toy broken, someone tells grandma off and you'll hear the smoke alarm go off at least half a dozen times.

Miss Yvonne said...

The last one is my favorite! Nobody remembers the perfect pictures anyway...they aren't nearly as interesting.

Aria said...

They're Adorable! And a big fat bow of unrivaled awe at your patience level to get the pics! You must be a Jedi Master or something!

Judy Haley said...

these are all awesome - what a great idea.

queenofquirky.com said...

Love. Love. Love. them all. But I vote for #3. Oh, wait. Were we voting?

Merry Christmas Barefoot family from the Quirky family! (Only that's just me and my dog, but we both wish you a wonderful holiday season!)

Asianmommy said...

Cute shots--#2 is perfect. Merry Xmas!

The Rambler said...

I'm loving the last one....I can only imagine what you were doing on the other end :)

J.Danger said...

I'll be expecting number three in my mail!

DCD said...

Totally love them! Honesty to the end. Perfect!!

Merry Christmas!

Swirl Girl said...

I think you should do a trio card! They are all too much!

Ali said...

I have to go with everyone else--LOVE #3! I've turned a diaper into a maxi pad before. Oh yes I did.

The Mom said...

My pick is still number 3!! Merry Christmas beautiful girl, love ya!

Allison said...

No. 3 is perfection. Kind of how I feel when I'm home for the holidays with family. ;)

jill jill bo bill said...

That is christmas joy without a doubt. For us.

Sam_I_am said...

I don't have children, but I got scratched during a Christmas Reincat session.

Momisodes said...

Oh yes, keepin' it real. Love them all :)

Cheryl said...

I fucking love all of them!

Threeboys1mommy said...

You're McGyver!

#3 looks like something from the Little Rascals, very cute.

blueviolet said...

Well, I for one would much rather receive one of those than the traditional happy poses. These have pizazz!

Lamb said...

LOVE the third one!

in baby girl news, your baby girl NEEDS this in her life:
http://detroit.craigslist.org/bab/947822595.html

Marie said...

So cute! Love the first one! Well and second. And third. Can't make up my mind.

Have a Merry Christmas!

Regardez Moi said...

BAAAAAAAAAAAahahahahaah. I would have loved to get any one of these cards - especially the last one. Fantastic.

Traci said...

OMG ... those pictures are awesome!

Everyone tries to be perfect. But perfect is boring. I much prefer the real stuff. Our visit to Santa was not good this year, and they were shocked when I said "Yes, I still want to buy the picture of my kid screaming in fear..." It is what it is. A very cute memory. So much more so than a perfect, and fake, pose. You know?

Merry Christmas!

Lizzie said...

That is one big pug!! Merry Christmas to you and yours! :)

texasholly said...

Super, super cute. Love it. WAY better than boring old WalMart cards.

Merry Christmas!

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Merry Christmas!

Vodka Mom said...

That's damn good.

Merry Christmas!

Jenners said...

Soooo funny! My husband is in love with pugs ... they are such strange little doggies.

My favorite line was "making a maxi pad out of teddy bear stuffing." That is the kind of thing that sticks in your head!

Thanks for the laughs and Merry Christmas!

Winston said...

That last one is GOLDEN.

Carolyn...Online said...

I think the black and white really brings out the pain in their tears. Nice touch.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Love them all but that last one is classic!

Merry Christmas! I hope you had a great day!

Erin said...

I must say I loved my card!

Heather said...

Happy Christmas to you!

Dana (the Homesteading Housewife) said...

I agree!! number 3 is the best!!
If I don't make at least one of my 5 young'ins cry a day I'm doing something wrong... Looks like your doing fine!
Happy Holidays!!

Sarah Bellum said...

Love it!

Mommie Mayhem said...

I vote # 2 ... but # 3 its great to !!

April said...

super cute! merry christmas :-)
we do january cards. too much going on in nov/dec to even think about christmas cards.

Emily said...

Adorable! You are certainly resourceful. Hope you had a great Christmas.

That's too bad about that poor teddy bear...

Teri said...

Those are priceless!

Jennifer said...

They still brought a smile to my face! Success!!!

Wondy said...

I love those cards!

LuckyMe said...

Those boys are sooo cute. Three fabulous shots. Like supermommy said, very Little Rascals.

I really do not enjoy the perfectly posed pictures in unnaturally clean and uncomfortable dress clothes. I hated professional photo sessions. Don't even think I ever did it for number three son. School pictures, ditto. Overpriced crap except for the class shot. Why bother when you have millions of gorgeous candids?

Tiffiney said...

Love those...they are to funny... such cute kids :)