Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Me: Oh, you're up! I am going to make pancakes for breakfast. Want me to throw in some blue berries or bana...wait...what are you eating?

Hub: What, oh just a snack, nachos.

Me: Those don't look like nachos, they look weird. What's on them?

Hub: Cheese. And some cut up hotdog I found in the drawer.

Me: First, that is disgusting. Second, I haven't bought hotdogs in months, like, LOTS of months.

Hub: Tastes fine.

Me: Wait, what the eff are you eating out of that little baggie thing?

Hub: Sliced pepperoni.

Me: You are eating old hotdog nachos and greasy sliced pepperoni. As a snack. At 7am.

Hub: Is this going to be a fight?

Ahhhh....no, it didn't turn into a fight, unless you count me passive aggressively (a trick I picked up from the 'ole mother in law) letting out a huge sigh and storming out of the den in a huff. I mean, I love that he can get away with eating OHDN (old hot dog nachos, I am NOT typing it out anymore, it makes me gag!) and greasy prepackaged pepperoni for a breakfast snack. Not only would that destroy me via acid reflux, but I would instantaneously gain, like, 40 pounds by afternoon, AND I would probably get a zit...because that is how my luck works.

Not to mention *In my best Irish Catholic Guilt Voice* I slave away ALL day making good, wholesome food for this family. I spend hours scouring over my grocery list and meal plans for the week, so that no food group is left out, and each meal will be mouthwatering. And he has THE NERVE to SLAP me in the face with OHDN and pepperoni.

I am so hiding the Tums.

3 comments:

Lori said...

OMG, thats gross and hilarious!!

BunnyMendelbaum said...

you are f'ing hilarious!!!

nov22 said...

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!