Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Birthday Weekend: Closing Ceremonies, cough cough

Well, how fun, another birthday has come and gone. Thanks everyone for the cards, gifts, flowers and phone calls! It was great to feel so special!

Sadly, because I was bound and determined to grill for the past two days, despite the wind...rain...hail...it seems I have become quite sick. I mean, I will still grill every meal today, I just won't be able to smell or taste it. Sweet.

I am quite sure I have pneumonia, and WebMD agrees with me, but hubby isn't convinced, so I guess I need to go to a real doctor today for a second opinion (quack!). But, I find that three things happen when I am sick:

1. I become a germ-a-phobe. Which is so totally not me. I typically don't freak out when my kids put their mouths on shopping carts, I would share the straw of a total stranger when taking a drink, and even as I type, I could very well have poop on my hand from the last diaper explosion I attended to, but eh, I am ok with that. But, now that I am sick, I am on level orange germ alert. I literally have a little bottle of Purell stashed in the side of my bra, that I can whip out at a moments notice, and I have banned all snot faced toddler kisses for the time being.

2. I make questionable fashion decisions. House shoes. Anyone familiar? I bought some at Walmart yesterday while I was wandering around in a Benadryl induced medicine coma. I meant to just go buy some more tissues and some Vicks, but the old lady in front of me in line had a pair on with knee high stockings and culottes, and by darn it, those dirty leopard print house shoes looked comfy, so I left my spot in line to go snatch up a pair.

So yes, hubby, I am going to wear those ugly flower print slipper things with socks all day today, again, so back off.

3. My verbalization skills become compromised. I have no control over what come rolling out of my mouth. Case and point, the UPS person (Honestly, now that I think of it, I am not sure if it was a man or woman, all I remember is short hair and big calves...so it could go either way).

My new cell phone arrives, finally, and I answer the door in my hawt ass house shoes, ofcourse. Henry joins me at the door to greet the delivery person, barking and snorting all over the place.

Me: Sorry, he gets easily excited.
UPS: Oh that's ok, I see it all the time, I am sure he is just hyper because I am a new person, and he isn't used to me.
Me: Well then, I guess you need to come over more.
UPS: *awkward laugh* Ok then, we're all set, have a good day ma'am.

Sweet Jesus, I just came onto the UPS guy/girl...in house shoes...with socks...no bra on...and a mustache of gooey Vicks caked under my nose.

3 comments:

Judy @ No Fear Entertaining said...

I bet the UPS Person walked away and said "that was hot". LOL

lamb said...

THAT made me smile!

happy belated bday!!

Natalie said...

i loved number three! that ups guy/girl will probably consider you the creepo slipper wearing, greasy lady and have to dress incognito when they go to your house next time...or leave the package on your porch, ring the bell and run. (i'm noticing a theme here!)