Thursday, June 26, 2008

Even Wonder Woman hurts sometimes.

This is the part of my blog where I use humor to make light of semi-serious situations because my coping mechanisms are in the shitter, and the shitter's full. As always, wild inappropriateness is my go to drug.

Today was my very first day of therapy. Yes, my turn as a tortured, starving artist has come full circle. Plus, I hear mental ineptitude is all the rage in LA, and if Lindsay Lohan is doing it, by golly, count me in. Without getting into the gory details, such a downer, I will just say I have reached my limit on panic attacks, and plum grew tired of my consistent obsessive compulsive-ish behaviors...as has my husband. I am not big on taking any sort of medication, and because wine and cinnamon pop tarts weren't doing the trick, I had to outsource my mental well being. So, therapy it is.

I was pretty nervous, especially being that my only concept of therapy comes from Scott Baio is 45 and Single and What About Bob. What do you even wear to such an event? I want to look nice so I appear capable of bathing and grooming myself, but not so nice that I look fake. Obviously, no mascara, because once we hit that part in my childhood where my dad accidentally ran over my dog's ear and we had to put him to sleep, bring on the water works.

And so, I went. We laughed, we cried, we meditated...well, he meditated, I was far too uncomfortable on the plastic chair to be zen (I thought there was supposed to be a couch, I was told there would be a couch?), so the while I should have been in my peaceful place, I was really doing my deep breathing to the beat of this.

In the end, he taught me exactly what I needed to know. I am a great wife and a kick ass mother, despite having these little issues to deal with.

So, this is why I am sharing this piece of me with you. Even the best people, strong women, wives and mommies included, need a little help along the way.

I know I may seem all cool, ridiculously gorgeous and loved by all, but the fact is folks, I am a real person, too:)

30 comments:

Marie said...

We all definitely have our down moments and sometimes, we need someone else to help us get out them.

Thanks for sharing and hope things get better.

Sidenote: so no couch? Really? I always thought it was sort of mandatory that therapists have a couch. Go figure.

Emiline said...

I always think of The Sopranos when I think of therapy.

I'm glad the session helped you! I guess those psychiatrists know what they're doing. My mom has been going to one, since she was in a bad car accident.

I'm not sure I understand about the OCD thing, since I'm a new reader. I seriously think I have OCD too.

Fiesty Charlie said...

The fact that you are real makes you that more endearing to this reader!

Therapy is a great tool to use and I suggest it all the time. If nothing else it gets me out of the house having a real adult conversation for 50 minutes...

Good for you! I knew Wonder Woman was my hero for a reason....{grin}

Natalie said...

ok...i can't even tell you how much i love that you put this out here for us to read. i am learning that many people come to read my blog and want more me as well as the funny, crazy stuff that goes on. and as i thought about it, i realized that it is exactly what i like about reading others. the funny, crazy, exciting stories mixed in with a real glimpse at who they are. thanks!

girl with the mask said...

A really wonderful post. x

Brittany said...

Marie...Thanks, and DUDE! I KNOW! I thought the couch was kinda a given, I even wore long pants in case it was a leather couch and my legs wouldn't get sweaty on it and make the fart sound!

Emiline...Damn, I totally forgot the Sopranos!

Charlie...Thanks, this was just plain sweet and made me tear up a bit...crap, another thing to bring up in my next session:)

Natalie...Thanks. I can't tell you how many times I almost didn't hit publish on this. It's scary putting personal things out, but then I though, Go Big or Go Home, ya know:)

Girl with the Mask...hey thanks!!!!

BunnyMendelbaum said...

Damn, Brit, you just got me all teary at work!

jennifer, playgroups are no place for children said...

No couch? I thought that was like some sort of mandatory prop in therapy.

Good for you for going and writing about it honestly. I hope it helps you.

J.Danger said...

seriously, most of the time I start crying just walking into the office! Its ridiculous, I know.

No couch is totally lame....the audacity.

Shelly... said...

I'm all for therapy. Sometimes you just got to get it out there, and having an objective person listen is the only way to go. Thanks for your honesty and your sense of humor keeps me coming back. Glad I found you!

Michelle said...

((hugs))

lamb said...

i love how unadulterated you are (:

Amanda said...

I with all the other ladies here - there is nothing wrong with a little help sometimes. I am a big believer in counseling and getting the tools to be a better person. and I agree someone objective is always helpful! Thanks for being so real. I struggle with that a lot.

ali said...

Maybe you have to pay extra for a couch? Hmmm...

Great post--sending good thoughts your way:)

Sue said...

OMG I'm so glad you stopped by today _ LOVE your blog - adding it ASAP. BTW, if you really want to talk panic attacks, just email me- I've been dealing since I was 20 and it's under control now.

Rock on sista!

Sandy C. said...

You...rock. Seriously. You just do.

Such an raw, honest, and well-written post.

I have no idea why, but you were not on my blogroll. I'm adding a.s.a.p!

*hugs*

Judy @ No Fear Entertaining said...

Oh Brittany you are so real!!!

I did therapy years and years ago and it helped me (I think???). I got a couch though. Actually a really cute little room that was set up like a living room. I felt really relaxed there. Why did I stop? I don't really know except I started to feel better about myself. I truly do think though that we all have some sort of issues...that's what makes us special and different from one another!
Hope it keep helping and that you feel better soon!

Kandace said...

Glad you are seeking the help if you need it. I think therapy is for everyone.

Next time mention the couch. Like the pp maybe it costs extra. I'm sure the insurance will pay for it.

Sarah said...

Good for you! I looooove therapy. It's the one place people can't tell me, "Sarah it's not always about you."

Kelli said...

I love your blog. It's my first time reading, and I like your style. I agree with what you say ab. therapy. I think everyone needs it at some point(s) in their life. Those who don't believe that are those who created that "ignorance is bliss" category. I wish I were in that category, but, sadly, am far too analytical and judgmental.

JennDZ - The Leftover Queen said...

This is so completely true. Life is not as it was for our parents and certainly grandparents - life is fast and full of too many choices and lots and lots of confusion. Sometimes we all need a chance to step away from it all and get a little perspective. I have SO been there, many times!

I think you are brave to share this! With your outlook and take on life, I am sure you will have it all worked out soon!
*hugs*

Nichol said...

I fell into your blog yesterday and I think I have a case of blog puppy love. I think the fact that you are real is what is drawing me to your blog. Stay strong and keep rockin' it!

Jan said...

I jsut hope this therapy doesn't change you, but I think you are very brave for sharing.

Heather said...

Hey, I figure the only reason we're so damn funny is because we're a couple of crazy bitches. Amirite?

Amy said...

All the cool kids are doing it. ;) I'm here for you too if you need to chat.

Brittany said...

Bunny...Aww girl...

Jennifer..I agree, the whole lack of couch thing was, well, shocking. And oh so disappointing.

J.Danger...ME TOO! I started crying when he met me in the waiting room. I had no idea I why, I was just nervous.
Shelly...I am equally glad to have you here! And thank you so much for the kind words. Truly.

Michelle...thanks, I think a dinner party would cheer me up:)

Lamb...Nuh uh, I love how unadulterated YOU are!

Amanda...Thanks for letting me be real, I was so scared to put this out there, and it's amazing to be met with open arms and such amazing comments!

Ali...Thanks, and I am sure it is extra, you can't get something for nothing, especially in therapy:)

Sue...YAY! I just ADORE your blog, no joke, read the whole thing, love it! And love you even more for being a fellow panic-er, and I will totally be hitting you up with random crazy emails, no one quite understands it unless you lived it.

Judy...Your whole comment was like a nice big warm blanket! Seriously, I feel all fuzzy now:)

Kandace...I should look into getting the couch pre authorized. Everything needs to be pre authorized these days.

Sarah...Word. It's nice to know there is a place out there where I can be all up in my own business, and the person has to act interested for 60 uninterrupted minutes. Love it!

Kelli...Thanks for visiting, and especially for the kind words! I couldn't agree more, the ones who judge me, in reality, probably need it more than I do!

Jenn...Thanks so much sweetie! It is awesome to hear I am not alone out here, andyou are right, I would love to live the lives of our grandparents, at a much slower pace in such simpler times!

Nichol...I adore you, come back and back and back!

Jan...It absolutely won't change me, only hopefully cut down on the hyperventilating, which should leave me with more time to blog!

Heather...Oh trust me sweets, no amount of therapy can cure crazy bitch, we are stuck with it:)

Amy...Thanks! Maybe a boat drink and a night just chilling would hit the spot!

Not Just Any Jen said...

You are cool and ridiculously awesome, gorgeous, and so on, but I love that you always keep it so real and I hope you get through this. Hugs.
Jen

Jen said...

Therapy is good. Posting this was good, too. :)

IRISHKAT said...

Well said!! Can't believe there wasn't a couch... bummer.

Average Girl In Average World said...

Panic Attacks huh? I have them at night, laying down, thoughts of the day running through my mind and all I can see is my son drowning. Not my daughter, just my son and I freak out, go to his room, put my hand on his chest, feel it rising and then I go back to bed. Hubby used to say I was a freak until he realized I was serious.