Monday, June 30, 2008

When life jumps the shark...

This morning I woke up in a pool of my own sweat, totally nauseous, with a throbbing headache. When I finally was able to get to my feet without throwing up, I saw that the air conditioner was spewing warm air into our room.

Me: Oh my God hunny, wake up, the air conditioner is broken!
Hub: What?
Me: Warm air is coming out! It's broken! We are going to have to go stay at a hotel until it's fixed!
Hub: I think you'll survive, you were a girl scout.
Me: I will not have it, pack your things.
(Hub gets up all grouchy and inspects the unit)
Hub: It's not broken, I just turned the air off and put it on fan last night, I got chilly.
Me: I don't understand.
Hub: I was cold.
Me: I was hot, and you didn't even give me a chance to voice my needs by sneaking in and changing it while I was asleep.
Hub: Sorry?
Me: I want my own room.

I'm not a domestic diva. In fact, I require very little beyond the necessities (food, shelter, adorable kids, loving husband, subordinate dog) to remain in a happy, compliant state.

1. Ice maker...I'm a chewer.
2. DVR...so I can watch all my trash once the boys fall asleep.
3. Air conditioner in bedroom...I can't sleep when it's hot and it makes me feel like crap.

And, then I think about the words I just put out there, into our family universe, hovering around in an awkward state of purgatory.

My own room. I'm not an angsty teen in puberty, but how sweet would that be?! The whole bed to myself, my own crap on the dresser, a place where I could put on my secret thigh and tummy slimmer things without fear of being walked in on and my secret ruined. I could sleep unspooned in freezing splendor.

But wait.

When I got my life note passed to me that said "Do you want to live in domestic bliss with your loving husband, adorable children, and promise to keep the house pretty, their bellies full and make sure everyone is happy and wonderful? Circle yes or no."

I circled yes.

I love staying home. I love being with my boys 24/7. I even love spooning with my husband in temperatures that do not exceed 70 degrees.

But did I think there would be this much poop? No.

Did I think I would be picking my phone out of the toilet so much? No.

Did I know it would be this hard to even find the time during the day to hear myself think let alone clean the house? No.

Did I know you can't drink and be pregnant at the same time? Sadly, yes, I knew this, but it was none the less disappointing.

Donna Reed, I am not. But, I'm over it, I am an I Love Lucy girl anyways.

8 comments:

Nilz said...

That's the spirit - I always find it difficult to stay at home alone but at times I have to do that. Difficult to manage everything staying alone and staying together, all of us need to take the unsigned oath of compromise - but we do so happily. Because we love to stay together.

Marie said...

I'm going with you on this one for sure. 200% sure. Air conditioning in this blistering heat is a requirement at ALL TIMES. If cold, use an extra blanket. Turning off AC is unacceptable. :)

schwartz said...

I dont think being a girl scount has anything to do with air conditioning. We sold cookies, sang Alice the Camel, and had snacks of Oatmeal Cream Pies during our troop meetings. Not much else to it. Even at Camp Libbey for some reason they always lacked in wilderness survival skills, such as 'how to sleep without air conditioning'. Why? Beats the hell outta me!
He did commit a sin by turning it from AC to fan without the supreme court ruling.

girl with the mask said...

Gosh, doesn't sleeping with a/c make your throat all scratchy and dry? I guess that beats being too hot- I would have killed The Boyfriend if he had done that to me!

Judy @ No Fear Entertaining said...

Ive often thought separate rooms, or even, get this, a separate house right next door!!! The kids would stay with me most of the time and we would all eat together, play together, but when it came time for sleep...I would be alone (he snores, he farts, he steals the covers and MY pillow)!!!

Air conditioning is a necessity unless everyone wants mean Mommy around!!!

Just kidding-I need them as much as they need me!

Kelli said...

I think the only reasonable thing at this point is for you to buy a bigger house with an extra room so you really can have your own (AC'd room) when necessary. Sometimes I want to sleep by myself, and my BF is okay w/ that--luckily, we have 2 spare rooms. so you can see why you definately need a bigger house.

Fiesty Charlie said...

Ummmm, well I did debate about posting this comment, for like 2 seconds!

I in fact have my own room at night... Darling wife is still co-sleeping with the ankle biter and it is, how shall I say this?

Blissful! Yep that is a good word. I have a king size bed to myself, even though I only use one side, but the other side is there if I want to use it.

The main air conditioner vent is in the master bedroom and can we say, ahhhhhh?

I have had this deal since moving to Austin, which is having the hottest month in the past 154 years, and I am loving it! I don't know if I want to spend the entire night with another person in my bed ever again.... lol

Emily said...

I miss having my own room. At our last house, we had separate rooms, but both slept in B's (only after the wedding, of course). I got to sleep with a man, and STILL have my very own closet and dresser space. It was AWESOME!

Also, not being able to drink while pregnant is super disappointing.