Saturday, October 11, 2008

Totally not dead on the side of the road somewhere.

Holy crap.

It's Saturday!?

How did I not post all week?

What was I doing?

Thinking back...um...lots of Mexican food...putting rubber bands on all my jeans because they won't button anymore...not cleaning...not paying my student loans...lots of those hard to find cherry flavored things that look like tootsie rolls but totally aren't...crying in my OB's office until she found the baby's heartbeat...crying in the OB's office during my breast exam at the sad state of my boobs and how far they fall to the side when I lay flat on my back...Dirty, Sexy Money...not feeding the dog...pretending to go to pre-natal yoga but really eating drive through Taco Bell in my car...scouring the internet for the Debbie Gibson perfume Electric Youth, which I am convinced was the best perfume ever, and must still exist somewhere...begging my husband to please flush the last dead fish corpse that has been decomposing in the fish tank for a (3) week...and apparently not posting on my blog.

What a fucking mavericky week I had!

So, aside from all that excitement, I still have the very big task of convincing my husband that I want to live in the Pacific Northwest so I can spend my days in jeans and Wellies, and live on the beach from The Goonies.

Oh, and also plan our big vow renewal in Vegas next year. Big number 5, holla! Which may sound weird, you say, to have a vow renewal after only 5 years, but the fact is, besides pushing the delicate boundaries of our vows of marriage on a daily basis, I originally wanted to get hitched in Vegas, but my husband (read: giant pussy) wanted a big wedding, so we did that, because I am a giver. In exchange for said sacrifice, we were supposed to celebrate our first anniversary having my version of a dream wedding (Elvis, liquor, all you can eat lobster) in Vegas, buuut....I have been knocked up for going on 3 of our 4 anniversaries. And the fuck I am getting married in Vegas sober and fearing miscarriage from shellfish induced food poisoning. No way, the only puking to take place next year will be due to bottom shelf liquor and eating my weight in shrimp cocktail.

I also decided to give the whole Grocery Game thing a try (FYI: if any of you bitches decide to sign up, you so better email for my info so I get referral points, I have no idea what they do, but I want them...all). I mean, my husband is an engineer in the automotive manufacturing sector, I know first hand this economy sucks ass, and with weeks of layoffs coming our way, I need to step up and curb my spending. So, coupons it is, which should be interesting because I never remember to bring the fuckers, EVER, and they never have them for the crap I buy the most often (KY and maraschino cherries), but we'll see, I am going into it with an open mind.

So, yeah. Slow week.

I totally promise to write something of value tomorrow...ish.

44 comments:

Casey said...

Debbie Gibson Perfume....
http://shop.ebay.com/items/_W0QQ_nkwZdebbieQ20gibsonQ20perfumeQQ_armrsZ1QQ_fromZQQ_mdoZ

Check.

Shannon said...

Oh, you crack me up - thanks for the laughs! And I'm still totally waiting for the picture of your Target outfit. I was fully expecting it to pop up on the weekend update, but so far it hasn't....

Maggie May said...

I wore Electric Youth in middle school. Damn. I thought I smelled like heaven and I'm pretty sure I smelled like alcohol swabs. She was in Playboy, didcha know that? I was freaked out when I heard that. I mean, she was the girl with the oversized hats and dorky pants and chub cheeks!

Emiline said...

What does Electric Youth smell like?
Hmmm.

Oh my goodness. I am SO jealous of your Vegas trip! You have to eat alot! I would. Think of all the food...

You did have a mavericky week.
Yep, you betcha.
*Wink*

DCD said...

Considering I just caught up on you yesterday - this is like you posting every day!

Which, thank God, because you make me laugh so freakin' hard!

I'm the same with coupons. I remember they are in my purse when I'm getting back in my car from the store and looking at my "green" grocery bags that I conveniently left in the car when I went into the store.

DCD said...

Wow - that was quite a sentence!

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

We did elope and I wanted to just take the big wedding money and honey moon in Maui. Instead we had the big wedding 6 months later. By then I was 4 mos pregnant trying to stuff myself into a dress that was purchased BEFORE I got pregnant. That was not fun. Oh and Long Live Electric Youth. Amen.

kel said...

Seriously? Electric Youth? Santa used to leave that in my stocking. He might know where you can get some.

Jay @halftime lessons said...

DUDE!
I am wearing Electric Youth right now...

Or maybe my ass needs a good shampooing...

It's one of those two.

I think.

AJ said...

I totally rocked Electric Youth in 6th grade.

I'm a fellow engineer in the shithole auto industry.

I'm also a coupon user...well I try to be. One of my friends has a blog totally devoted to scoring good deals with coupons. http://cheaps-kate.blogspot.com/

She saved me $110 in one week!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Heyyy! Glad you're okay! Thought maybe you joined the circus or a cult or something!

I loved Electric Youth perfume I and I bought a perfume called Nina over the summer because it reminded me if it!

Shake Your Love,
Jenni

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

The Vegas trip sounds so cool :)

I never do coupons either--I always want to but never do...

Cheryl said...

KY and Cherries, Oh my!

Just Kim U said...

When you say "maverick," I think you have to wink about 20 times so that "Joe and Jane Six Pack" will understand that you are talking to them. :)

I know nothing of the grocery game, but will take your referral and check it out.

Good times. :)

Shelly... said...

Trust me you don't want to live in the Pacific NW. To cold and gloomy!
Vegas trip cool! You will be partyin' in my town.

Threeboys1mommy said...

Maverick is my new most favoritist word!

April said...

omg, i used to drown myself in Debbie Gibson Electric Youth perfume.

there's an *official* grocery game??? i've been playing with myself (that's what she said) for a long time now, but who knew you could play with others??? i will HAVE to look into this.

btw. thanks for visiting me!!!! i love when celebriblogs come see little old me :-D. and you're welcome for dinner anytime, but if you read yesterday's blog about frozen, canned and freeze dried, maybe you won't want to.

aw... hubs and i have been trying to plan something cool and anniversary-ish too, but like you, i've been pregnant, nursing, ttc or post partum pretty much four years straight. hmpf.

sorry for the novel.

Mommie Mayhem said...

I would love to go to Vegas !!I always forget my coupons to !!

ldybugsammi said...

we're renewing our vows next year for our 5 year too! But we'll be living in Hawaii so thats our excuse!

Anissa Mayhew said...

Woman, you'd better get your tubes tied and cauterized or you're going to be telling the same story about how the past 9-10 anniversaries have been spent with a bun in the oven and I will have eaten all the shrimp cocktail in Vegas. HA!

alanna rose said...

Tried the Grocery Game (Marc Summers told me to do it - it was a Double Dare!) - I ended up buying a bunch of stuff I never use and spent three times as much on groceries to save a few bucks - maybe it will work for you?

We had a bottle of Electric Youth at our sorority house, we used to douse frat pledges with it - it might still be there....

Aubrey said...

What!? Electric Youth perfume? I never knew such a thing existed. I bet is smelled something sort of fierce!

And I'm so flippin' jealous! I have been trying to talk my hubby into a vow renewal since our 10th (we just celebrated our 16th yesterday!) What a fuckin' slacker.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Go to www.couponmom.com Same thing as the grocery game but it's FREE.

THE FRYOR CLAN said...

sadly I too think that electric youth was the best perfume. EVER. I will now have to scour. If i find some I will send it your way!
Thanks for making me laughi too have been bad at blogging.

lamb said...

i GET what generics are, but how the hell do i always buy generics yet still leave the grocery store spending at least 200 for only two people?

coupons for generics. thats what i require.

Petra said...

Sounds like you had quite the week! Well, we missed ya.

I can't believe you are looking for Electric Youth perfume, I totally forgot about that!

Oh Debbie Gibson...

LuckyMe said...

Missed you. I was afraid the boys had you tied up in the closet or something.

Don't know the grocery game but I totally agree about coupons. I gave up because if you actually remember to bring them and then you remember to use them, you get to the checkout and the coupon's expired or you got the wrong size... Coupons were designed to inflict GUILT! and they are a huge time suck with all the clipping and categorizing and and studying the fine print. And then you buy something that you didn't really want but it was on sale...Ahem, But if it works for you... Grrreat!

BTW, time for pumpkin bread. Stop by. It's a big recipe, so yummy and it has a vegetable(?) in it. So it must be good for you, too, right?

Lindsay said...

Move to Portland!! It's badass, gorgeous, most of us are liberal as fuck, we have amazing beer and coffee and the most strip clubs per capita than any other city!! What more do you need? Yes, the winters are a bit cold and drizzly, but what better opportunity for cute hoodies, pear-print galoshes and watching tv for hours by the fire every night? Plus, we need some more sassy ass mamas like you in our 'hood! :)
Had to de-lurk to give my NW sales pitch, even though I'm sure you're kidding... but come visit, I promise you'll wanna sleep with us on the first date ...
Keep up the hilarious writing, I'm hooked!

Jo-Jo said...

Man I ate like I was prego this weekend...I am not by the way. I am using the excuse of PMS. I should work.

ali said...

Booze aside, I think a wedding picture with a very obviously pregnant Brittany standing next to hubby and Elvis would be hilarious!

Jennifer said...

If I come across any coupons for KY or maraschino cherries, I'll send them your way!!

Heather said...

I fucking LOVED Electric Youth. That hot pink spring thing around the spray tube? Hell yes. And it smelled totally au courant without being slutty.

And Esprit bags? And Guess jeans? And Keds? Welcome to my middle school years.

Becky said...

Welcome back! Now that I'm addicted to your blog I took it personally that you weren't writing.
"Is it me? Does she not like me? Does she know I check every day?"

Yeah, I got issues.

Average Girl In Average World said...

Glad they found Walnuts heartbeat. Maybe you can convince hubby to "fix" said lazy boobs if you save tons of money on groceries with those coupons, then you can stop crying about them also.

Angi said...

I live in Seattle. I can personally vouch that the Pacific Northwest is the greatest place on earth to live. And wellies are totally in right now. ;-)

Lizzie Bennett said...

Yay Pacific Northwest! Where Uggs, jeans, Patagonia and wet, curly hair because you're too busy to blow dry it are always in style. Doooo it!

Tenakim said...

Aren't those cherry things made by Tootsie rolls? SO HARD to find! Damn, tell me if you find an easy way to get those wothout buying a 10 lb bag of candy that has say, 14 of them!

The Mom said...

OH MAN, I was a taco bell fiend while preggo...now the smell makes me gag.

CLICK!

The Spiteful Chef said...

They have the vanilla ones this year, you know? The one year in my entire fucking life that I've been on a diet, and they bust out full-size, diabetic-coma-size, bags of just the vanilla ones. I didn't see cherry, but they have to have them.

I love the vanilla ones so much that I might bypass the whole "calories" thing and just use them as suppositories.

Brittany said...

Please move here. We can hang in our wellies together.

Wow. I totally forgot about electric youth, but this post sent the memory of both the song and heady frangrance rushing back to me.

Both are awesome.

Politi Gal said...

:) Electric youth, that's hot.

LiteralDan said...

KY and maraschino cherries... that's just priceless.

Those fruit-flavored Tootsie Rolls are awesome, and you are very correct they are hard to find. But I discovered that Farm and Fleet (not sure if you have that store out there) sells them by the bag-- not a big mix of various candies with some of those in it, but just the delicious bastards themselves, in all their glory.

You're making me twitch and plan another trip to Farm and Fleet... which is several hours away.

Tiffiney said...

Wow what a week! I have been trying to convince my hubby to move to Alaska and it is finally working..he has been applying for all jobs we see there! :) So glad I found your blog! You are just to funny! :)

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

That was quite mavericky.