Dermatological Guest Post

Holla bitches!

So, Brittany can't post today, she is too busy cowering in a dark room with toothpaste on her face, so in her place, is yours truly, her blemish aka biggest motherfucking zit ever.

Of course, I didn't start out this big, at first I was all calm and subtle, but then Brittany had to be a bitch and try and pop me, and I was all, think again ya whore, so I swelled up a bit more, you know, out of spite. And then, she grew some balls and tried to come at me with a rusty safety pin needle she sterilized with a lighter, so then I was like, alright, back the fuck up, what are you, a junkie?

I mean, who does that?

So, now I am just here hanging out, pussing up a bit every now and then, you know, just to keep things exciting.

Between you and me...I love my life. I so seldom get to bust in on Brittany's flawless complexion, so when I do, ya know, you gotta go big or go home. Which is why I prefer to rear my ugly head as a lip zit. That way...people think she has herpes. Herpes!

So here I am, in all my throbbing bad ass glory, just chillaxing, taking in the sites...which mostly consist of me looking at myself in Brittany's magnifying mirror while she spews obscenities and curses Jesus. But, what's new, right? That girl is loco! Am I right?

*High five*

Anywaaaays...she has been waiting for me to "come to a head" of sorts, but she's delusional. I own her ass for the next 4-7 days, and even then, if I play my cards right, I may scar...or at least turn into a piece of dry skin she can't ever get rid of...so you know, I have options, I am always planning for the future. I mean,you have to in my profession, or else you may end up on someone's ass, and everyone knows ass pimples are tools.